Faith, and fear as bedfellows I think not !

 I was recently blessed with an understanding that I would like to share with you. I have always known that The Lord has blessed me with the spiritual gift of faith . “Well how do I know”, he told my spirit it is that simple. I have always been the “glass is half full” , If the sun is not shining for the Sunday school picnic just wait a minuet.  through this faith I have seen incredible mountains moved and healings and prayers answered than can be explained by nothing but God . When I speak of faith, it is by no means faith of salvation but a faith in the miraculous fulfilled, evidence of the impossible in your life and in mine. So you can see now how faith and fear can truly have no bedroom fellowship as fear totally incapacitates all faith, choking out its very life. But I have always felt a block in my faith, stopping me from accessing more of His faith through me . Ever since I  was a little girl as far as I can remember I have been attacked  by  an incredible fear and it has haunted me. The first memory of it was probably when I was four. This was the lie “when I married that my husband would die young leaving me helpless will children”. Satan has used this fear against me, and even when my husband miraculously recovered from several near fatal incidences, I was still griped by the spirit of fear. This fear made me insist he get life insurance  , I would not let him go anywhere without me just encase something happened at least we would be together, if he did go anywhere of a distance I was traumatized until his safe return. You could safely say that I was willingly believing a lie that I hated, yet willingly allowed its place in my heart. Had I given this to Jesus? Yes, several times, I had even several times given my husband to God to be used in whatever the Lords will was even if that meant his death For his glory. In my heart, I was still tormented by this huge fear. In our ministry we have stood in faith against the enemy several times together, always overcoming, and receiving the benefits of faith obedience.   It seamed that as much as I wanted to grow in faith I could not get past this wall barricading my growth. Even when faith was tested by the death of our child, I regretfully say that I conquered , the battle yet In my heart I felt my faith lost the ground that was needed for the next journey, the birth of Blessed~Grace . The father in His mercy still gave me the victory, as I called out to Him in my fear trodden anguish, birthing me back into a renewed sprit .

Wile watching a teaching on faith the lord gave me a new revelation that I knew, but had not grasped the essential reality of it. Fear is a spirit “a demon”! If I am battling this spirit of fear all my life, this demon has been allowed its way. Even thought I did not like it, I let it stay by musing its thoughts, and I dwelled on them. Scripture says I have not given you a spirit of fear. So why was I letting this spirit have dominion over my thoughts and heart.  It was because I  was treating it like a feeling, an emotion that I did not like, and could push away, when I should have been battling it like an enemy. Would you go up to a giant and say “oh please Mr. Giant leave me alone you make me feel so sad” if I cover my eyes maybe I wont see you any more. No David went up in power, and authority, overpowered it, and destroyed it. You seen I had been willing it away, and praying it away, instead of taking the authority over it, that was already given me, and rebuking it, not cuddling it,  But instead casting it off of me. And you know what that is all it took after so many years of torment and fear. Instead of crying and praying like the Israelites, I just pick up some stones of the word, and started chucking them , and in a moment the giant fell. At once, I actually felt the releases, feeling his presence gone and in the next few days witnessed an incredible new boldness I had never had before, and new freedom in the spirit, and renewed all empowering faith. You see mountains cannot move without it!

 “Sometimes you just have to see the bull for what he is, and take it by the horns”

 – Melody