Arise and call her blessed

When Mommy Cries

One of the hardest times of a mother is walking through the death of a child it happens more frequent than not, and is most often overlooked as mother and father greave alone, facing every day. They alone walk in a strange bubble of sadness when all around them the rest of the world still turns. Sibling if it was a baby especially seem to collect themselves and forget for times, while you sit frozen in time still feeling your child although through empty arms .Through swollen eyes you watch a blurred noisy world spin around you .The happy voices of your children laughing and playing. You hear the murmurs and whispers of well meaning unwanted guests as they are pushed back out the door. You are never truly alone yet in your bubble of sadness all else seem just a blur. When you sleep, you forget and when you awake for a moment the dizzy haze is gone until, it all comes rushing back. When you look in the mirror, your eyes are swollen and red even when you have not cried since the day before. In your heart, you long for normal yet normal would mean an empty plot down the road. When the children rush at you with love, desires and needs you feel ashamed and the need to hide your face and tears hoping not to alarm them or cause them to remember, and then you send them away. Oh, the guilt for brushing them aside, neglecting there needs and placing that burden on another. You alone remain curled up paralyzed by loss and grieved for your incapability to care for the other babies that play through your sad song. In time you run out of tears literally you just can cry no more, you start to step out of your bubble for little moments express a smile, a happy moment, give a hug, hold your children again, and start providing for some of there needs

 This, your children can be the most painful part of grieving, yet the balm that heals. Amongst my own private agony, the pain in feeling that I was neglecting my other babies was dreadful, it broke my heart, I so needed to protect them from my pain to hide from them my deep sorrow, yet along with that I could not care for them hug them kiss them good night say their prayers. They were in a world sheltered by love but without a mommy. The most incredible healing was when my two year old finally snuck up into my arms. He was bigger than the missing child but I held his head in my hand and cradled his body against mine and one hug at a time my misty valley went away as I held the little bodies that I loved so dearly, I kissed my little one goodbye, one snuggle at a time.

 Every mother suffering through grief walks a different path to some degree, but know, you are not alone! In the mist, I always heard a voice softly speaking to me, sometimes a song in the night, a verse. One night just a reference to a verse repeated over and over in my sleep, speaking words of hope, hidden treasures lost in my mind, thing I knew but needed to feel and know deeper in the very depths of my soul. You see only a father; a heavenly father can penetrate the hazy mist of sorrow. The noisy world spins around you seemingly unaffected, but cannot come in your valley. But walking through the mist my father was there holding me, cradling me, keeping me for a better time ,when he would use my valley for his glory the Bible says he collects all your tears in a bottle . Every drop He cherished and delicately preserved close to his heart, and as he catches each drop, he whispers his love and enduring truths in your ears, gently guiding you out of the valley, through the mist, and back into the light .Love Melody

When a woman prays

Probably one of the most effective prayers I have ever prayed ,and still pray is a prayer that I released as a maiden searching for love ,  It was when I relinquished my search that this incredible powerful prayer emerged form the depths of my soul . It was in tears I prayed “Father you prepare for me the man you have for me to marry and while I wait, make him into the Godly man you want him to be Amen”. The power of this prayer broke through my darkness and traveled across Canada and immediately shut down all thing that were not of God in My future mates life. It hedged Him in Love even though we did not know each other broke down walls that trapped him, protected Him from falling into any sexual sin literally hedged his actions . It shut down everything in front of him, and forced him back across Canada to where the Lord literally dropped him on our doorstep. After 15 years of marriage, I realize how very powerful that prayer truly was and still is, as I continue to pray him into all God wants him to be. Through our marriage, we have walked together through a lot, both good and bad. Through it all, God is ever leading and guiding, fulfilling his promises to me, from my youth. Even when I was not in His will, that first prayer was and is still being honored. As God grows us and shows us correcting us in areas, one at a time leading us into were he wants us to change, and molds us into his will, away from things of the world never to fast always gently. Whether He is disciplining us in love and correcting the path, or walking with us along the way. That single prayer in Ernest has followed and directed our step because the father honored it, and answered it. Not only was it for the time and the future but it is retroactive as the father new I would pray that prayer, he heard it long before he created the world. So not only did it effect the now but it effected his child hood, it held him as he walked through abuse, it led him to the cross , it held his heart and protected it for me alone . It kept him from marrying the wrong girl, and held his purity within a locked chest reserved for me. Today it has turned him into, and is turning him into, all God wants him to be, a man after God’s own heart. There is no better a time to pray and start praying this prayer today. Whether you are single, or married, there is no trial to big, whether you are praying for your future daughters and son in laws, or weather you are a grandmother praying for the future of her generations. Have you ever heard of generational blessing? This is where Godly past generations pray and bless there future generations by their obedience to the father now. Your prayers have an incredible effect in your future and those in your future. one day you can be the loving photo placed on a dresser, the one of the Godly grandmother who prayed, the one who broke the curse of ungodliness and started a flow of generational blessing, a well of hope and peace in what was a torrent of unfaithfulness and horrific circumstances. Break the chain today women!

Arise and be called blessed! Love Melody